It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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