Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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