Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
