No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
