It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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