Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
