People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
