don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
