You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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