i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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