the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
