you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
