we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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