I got chris browned last night
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
