On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
