She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
