i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
