Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
