Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
