My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
