I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
