just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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