My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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