Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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