So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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