we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
