Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
