Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
