oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
