i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
