Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
