is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
