Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
