Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
