I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
