I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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