I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize