8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
