He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you win again, gameday.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
