We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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