Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i love accidental penises.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
