he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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