my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
