Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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