in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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