This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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