my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
