I want you more than these girls want KFC
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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