How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
