ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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