Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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