Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
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